Friday, August 28, 2009

Be My Zombie

To the tune of Stand By Me, by Ben E. King

When your limbs are numb
And you've lost that spark
And you groan and are always quite hungry
No I won't run away
No I won't run away
It's not wrong, if you'll be my zombie

And snarling, snarling, be my zombie
Oh now be my zombie
Oh be my zombie, my zombie

If it's brains, that you feast upon
And you shamble and crawl
And your skin is all rotten and turns green
I won't fire, I won't fire
No I won't shoot you, dear
It's not wrong, if you'll be my zombie

And snarling, snarling, be my zombie
Oh now, be my zombie
Oh be my zombie, my zombie

So snarling, snarling, be my zombie
Oh now, be my zombie
Oh be now, my zombie, my zombie

When you're resurrected won't you be my zombie
Oh now, be my zombie
Oh won't you be my zombie, my zombie

I genuinely love this song, I have no snarky comment to add. It's a beautiful piece of art, and I probably shouldn't have made a zombie parody of it, but I did, so there.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Infected Zombie Bite

To the tune of Afternoon Delight by Starland Vocal Band

Screen for pathogens with ultraviolet light
To diagnose infected zombie bites
My motto's always been; seal your hazmat tight
Their contagion's much stronger than your leukocytes
Can't make antibodies to defeat this viral strain
Everyone afflicted becomes violent—tries to eat my brain

Thinkin' up ways to cure this septic blight
Preventing the transmittal of the zombie bite
Quarantine the combat zone after the firefight
And the epidemic of undead begins subsiding

Injured in the fight, infected zombie bite
Infected zombie bite
Infected zombie bite

Study wind-shift patterns at the outbreak site
Epidemiology is what will stem this undead tide
But the corpses start attackin' and I'm in a plight
'Cause the outcome of the battle is a zombie bite

Injured in the fight, infected zombie bite
Infected zombie bite
Infected zombie bite

Please incinerate my body when my corpse is found
Flee, get back to the chopper 'fore the sun goes down

Thinkin' up ways to cure this septic blight
Preventing the transmittal of the zombie bite
Quarantine the combat zone after the firefight
And the epidemic of undead begins subsiding

Injured in the fight, infected zombie bite
Infected zombie bite
Infected zombie bite

Infected zombie bite
Infected zombie bite

Most of you kids only know this song from Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy. That's OK, it was an improvement on the original.
Starland Vocal Band - Afternoon Delight
Found at skreemr.com

Monday, August 24, 2009

Hello Re-Animator

To the tune of Hello Operator by The White Stripes

Hello re-animator
Take me out this box of pine
Defy my creator
Shoot re-agent up my spine
A Miskatonic maker
Necro-animatic skill
Dead man'll walk an acre
Driven by the urge to kill

Arkham mortuary
Cut the flesh right from the bone
Extract of pituitary
Experiments no one condone
Why you killin' everybody
Secrets hide in an ancient tome
Why you killin' everybody
Before long you wind up alone

If The White Stripes were turned into zombies, would they have to sue Rob Zombie to change their name to "The White Zombies"?
The White Stripes - Hello Operator
Found at skreemr.com

Friday, August 21, 2009

Mr. Dead Guy

To the tune of Mr. Blue Sky by Electric Light Orchestra

[Radio announcer] Warning! Be on the lookout for zombies

I'm in this bunker, still alive
Paralyzed with fright
Have they stopped maimin'
Did their bodies rot away
How do we know
They won't come after us again, I pray

Done in if we misconstrue
The lack of screaming nightly
Search the city for the fiends
Form a committee
Mister dead guy might be lurking near his grave

Mister dead guy, we're searching high
And low to find a way
To survive—hopin' you're dead and gone

Mister dead guy, we're searching high
And low to find a way
To survive—hopin' you're dead and gone

They've gone without a single trace
To their final resting place
The devastation mister dead guy's
Caused is over, come on out
Resume your lives before the war

Mister dead guy, we're searching high
And low to find a way
To survive—hopin' you're dead and gone

Hey there, undead dudes
We hope that we're rid of you
And the way you bite and chew
Everybody's scared of you

Hey there, undead dudes
We hope that we're rid of you
And the way you bite and chew
Everybody's scared of you

Mister dead guy
Mister dead guy
Mister dead guy

Mister dead gave me a bite
He was hidden, came out tonight
Creepin' over, now our
Cities all a-smolder
Ate my mind and then shambled on his—and then shambled on his way

Mister dead guy, we're searching high
And low to find a way
To survive—hopin' you're dead and gone

Hey there, undead dudes
We hope that we're rid of you
And the way you bite and chew
Everybody's scared of you

Fact: Jeff Lynne co-wrote "Zombie Zoo" with Tom Petty…coincidence? I think not!
- Mr. Blue Sky
Found at skreemr.com

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Runnin' From A Fiend

To the tune of Runnin' Down A Dream by Tom Petty

Well their skin was grey, they groaned so loud
Strapped my ammo on, I was survivin'
Tryin' to keep alive, me and Ben were hidin'
But to our dismay, they were undyin'

Yeah runnin' from a fiend
That never stops hunting me
Gonna be history, when he catches me and he feeds
I'm runnin' from a fiend

I felt so scared, like escaping was impossible
I'm so afraid, they'll eat my eyes
For 28 days, the horde was unstoppable
There were billions that lost their lives

Yeah runnin' from a fiend
That never stops hunting me
Gonna be history, when he catches me and he feeds
I'm runnin' from a fiend

They broke in, just after dark
Smashed the door down, ended our lives
We're zombies now, shamblin' with the horde
I'm eatin' who—ever I find

Yeah, hunger for some brains
It's the only thing I can think
Guts draggin' on the street, my skin's grey and I stink
Hunger for some brains

Tom Petty sings it his way, I sing it my way.
Tom Petty - Running Down a Dream
Found at skreemr.com

Monday, August 17, 2009

Attackin' Diane

To the tune of Jack & Diane by John Mellencamp

There's a zombie attackin' Diane
Some undead cat's come around, wanna eat her glands
His ugly face is one bad scar
Diane's combatin' zombies in her hotwired car

Suckin' out human brains, those hungry zombies
Diane cockin' her rifle's bolt
Camouflaged up in the trees
Zombie brains gettin' blown out
By a sniper unseen
Dribbles out the hole in his head
And rolls down his knees 

Groanin'
We're damned to respawn
Tryin' to kill the livin' by dawn
Groanin'
We're damned to respawn
Tryin' to kill the livin' by dawn, we walk on

Zombie falls down, lands face first on the pavement
Splits open his head, does a Tom Savini
Gotta plan, Diane, and escape the over-run city
Diane reloads and shoots another zombie

Zombies groanin'
We're damned to respawn
Tryin' to kill the livin' by dawn
We're damned to respawn
Tryin' to kill the livin' by dawn

Gotta shoot my Glock™
And reload
Find the proper frequency
On the ham radio
Hold your position as long as you can
Army's comin' 'round real soon
With munitions and men

We're damned to respawn
Tryin' to kill the livin' by dawn
We're damned to respawn
Tryin' to kill the livin' by dawn

There's a zombie attackin' Diane
Survivin' this apocalypse, best she can

"Cougar" had different connotations when John Mellencamp came out with this.
John Cougar Mellencamp - Jack and Diane
Found at skreemr.com

Friday, August 14, 2009

Never Tear You Apart

To the tune of Never Tear Us Apart by INXS

"Don't eat me"
What I heard from you
Don't want to kill you
Or chew your body parts

I
I was shambling
You were scared
Hunger subsided
And I will never tear you apart

I could eat
Oh, a thousand brains
But I won't bite you
You'll be fine, have no fears

Wanna hold you
Wanna be your guy
But I have no pulse
And you tell me "That won't fly"

I
I was shambling
You were scared
Hunger subsided
And I will never, ever tear you apart

I
I was shambling
You were scared
Hunger subsided
And I will never tear you apart

You
Tried to shoot me
I don't care
By love I'm guided
And I will never tear you apart

The zombie Michael Hutchence is coming for you and he's singing this version:
Never Tear Us Apart - INXS.mp3
Found at skreemr.com

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Eat Them Alive

To the tune of Live and Let Die by Paul McCartney & Wings

When you were slain and your heart was a tasty snack
You tried to scream "Please let me live"
(and now you're dead, and now you're dead, and now you're dead)
But once the virus took over your cerebellum
Makes you revivify
Said "Eat them alive"
Eat them alive
Eat them alive
Eat them alive

What's a cerebrum taste like
When it's been bit into
You can't just go by smell
You gotta sample every last brain cell

You tried to scream "Please let me live"
(and now you're dead, and now you're dead, and now you're dead)
But once the virus took over your cerebellum
Makes you revivify
Said "Eat them alive"
Eat them alive
Eat them alive
Eat them alive

The version about James Bond in Haiti…
Paul McCartney and Wings - Live & Let Die
Found at skreemr.com

Monday, August 10, 2009

Precious Brains

To the tune of Separate Ways by Journey

Undead man
Ravenous ghoul, your flesh I will chew
Chew
Chew

Clawing out
Of the ground, I hunger for you
You
You

Becomin' hellspawn
When you revive
As walkin' carrion
Enjoy the ride
Death provides

Someday, death will claim you
Zombies will rend and maim you
With one taste of brain you'll
Shamble on
And eat their precious brains

If they ever burn you, 
Destroy and inter you
You know I'm still cursed to
Shamble on
And eat their precious brains

Dangling eye
Hanging from a nerve and a vein
Vein
Vein

Cannibal
Appetites no one can explain
Explain
Explain

I know that we're slow, but we are tough
Rending flesh from bone
Is gory stuff
Can't eat enough

Someday, death will claim you
Zombies will rend and maim you
With one taste of brain you'll
Shamble on
And eat their precious brains

If they ever burn you, 
Destroy and inter you
You know I'm still cursed to
Shamble on
And eat their precious brains

I still hunger girl
I'm really hungry girl
And if they ever burn you
Destroy and inter you

Brains
Brains

It's like Journey knew karaoke would happen and wanted to give us something cheesy and rockin' to sing…
Journey - Separate Ways (Worlds Apart)
Found at skreemr.com

Friday, August 7, 2009

The Putrid Germ

To the tune of The Passenger by Iggy Pop

I am the putrid germ
And I thrive and I thrive
I seep through a vicious flesh wound
I make the dead get up and rise
Yeah, they hunger with a hollow mind
You know you look like food tonight

I am the putrid germ
I infect the mass
I flow through the undead bite
I make the dead get up and fight
I put the hunger in your hollow mind
All I want is a rip in your hide
Everyone is food tonight

Singin' brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains brains brains…brains

Cerebrovascular
We'll spread the putrid germ
We'll infect everybody in sight
Taste their pretty ripped insides
We'll fill the hunger in our hollow minds
We'll be undead, they'll feel our might
They will fall to us tonight

Oh, the putrid germ
How, how he thrives
Oh, the putrid germ
He thrives and he thrives
He seeps through your flesh wound
Where do you bleed?
He puts the hunger in a hollow mind
He makes the dead get up and writhe
He's secreted in your ripped insides
He hides inside winding intestines
And everyone is made of human meat
All of them were made for you to eat
Come and join the throng along with me
So let's take a bite of who's left alive

Singin' brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains brains brains…brains

Oh, the putrid germ
He thrives and he thrives
He feasts on the underclass
He flows through the undead bite
He eats your skin then gnaws on eyes
He eats from hunger in a hollow mind
He eats whoever's to weak to fight
He eats everyone he can find
And all of them are yours to bite
And all of them are yours to bite
Oh, lets bite and bite and bite and bite

Singin' brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains
brains brains brains brains brains brains brains…brains

Iggy Pop sings it this way…
Iggy Pop - I am a Passenger
Found at skreemr.com