Thursday, December 24, 2009

I Saw Mommy Biting Santa Claus

To the tune of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Tommie Connor

Slick red stains on the fireplace
Little Johnny's scared, see how he shivers and he shakes
For Johnny's witnessed horrors such as he should never bear
He vomits milk and cookies and he rips out all his hair

I saw mommy biting Santa Claus
Undead teeth rent flesh and bone last night
She became a horrid freak and seized him with a shriek
He fought back but she was too strong, the outcome was so bleak

Then I saw mommy thrill-kill Santa Claus
Hunger made her take the old man's life
While she scarfed his bloody spleen, I wished that I'd never seen
Mommy biting Santa Claus last night

This may be the most disturbing thing I've ever written. Yes, I'm quite proud of myself. Merry Christmas, bitches!